Monday, June 14, 2010

Mexico


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“In the worst case I will just go home, or Cusco, or Salvador..” usuall response as echo when a tremble salutes a new life in a different country or a city. This time is not opening a new book or just writing a new page. It is an old book with a new chapter. So that means it has a continuing process in it. With some well familiar characters and more the main character is back and it has all this old memories, but many new experiences.
What come to a writer’s first thought is a a question of what is the point of this chapter what is different, there must be a growing part?? Some kind of new perspective on all this life situations??
Before writing must say it feels as a circle being whole. If i ever pointed the beginning of something than for shore this feels as an end. Or conclusion, or answer..many more turns out to be, but definitely the opposite of a time when a story of Mexico began.
Mexico 2
Didn’t sleep much. Saying goodbye to friends and land of Salvador was more tiring for me as I ever wanted to confess. The mission to learn and to know the life beyond emotional detachments let me down and was sad. But as good works in a competition with bad, was also happy. After all I was heading back to a place where I was a princess. Family loved me and I love them. More. As a princess I could see places and was excepted in all best things that one could imagine.
Waiting the night to pass and plane to the chosen destination iwas ready came fast in expectation and long in all that was putted in perspective that night. It was mainly ex boyfriend and life I could not achieve not even knowing it was considered as a achievement .
I understand now after a year why situation was the way it was. How I could be turned into directions allowing my self to breath the different decisions just because I wanted to try one thing..
..
Some how I manage to erase him few minutes after I left the land of dreams.
All that happened to us, decisions we made made sense, so was happy it turned out the way it did and so did the ending that is still converting into something, but that should be explained in its time of the story.
Knowing that eyes will again stared into chocolate fire put me to a mind test. Was imagining everything. Had no real contact with him or with him just in my mind and did not bring him into my past year livings. I decided that he is free of me and all that was left was a love that is much greater that a body could understand , a memory of someone that is special, will always be, just timing of our clocks was beating different and priorities where not running the same round.
When plane left us into light gravity space, beyond clouds, weight of mind stayed there in Brazil. Breathing was smooth. And even if i didn’t really know what happened it worked.
Mexico, Taxi. Im here. Open the door in a sweet castle apartment on Nuevo Leon and Marina opened the door.
She share something very Mexican with me. Again it’s a chapter if this would really be a book.
She hold me as if she new me and I hold her sincerely back. Still alerted I don’t know her.
It all faded away. Marta was still in the shower when shouting for her began. She embrace me and made me feel home. Covering me with water that was still crying down of to early taken away pleasure of showering.
latter.
Connection was made with him and so did the hug. We are in peace and feelings are loving and friendly. Content with where I am I surrendered and put my self in a seat of this Mexican train with no belt but a huge trust. Im always ok.
Thank u all with Me!!

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